Sunday, 10 March 2013

TMA 03 ... plus a little technical stuff. :)

So ... my TM03 assignment. Wake up at the back!! Just 40 lines to work with: show your stuff, baby.

Chose to write complex fixed poetry forms and then up the ante' further by attempting a 'themed' sequence; in this instance the arrival of two babies into a family, both girls have Down's Syndrome.

Apologies to non-writers but you'll have to google the terminology if interested; sorry!

Whilst the running narrative shows visible and cogent development throughout, here's the breakdown:

The opening Petrachan sonnet is written in classic iambic pentameter; addressing the concerns of a parent in such an anxious position. Note how Line 9 - the 'volta' line - flicks the perspective of the poem into a defiant tone, this natural parental attitude to wanting the girls to be treated the same as their peers is carried forward into the challenging villanelle.

The villanelle 'Snakes and Ladders' (much harder to write than it looks!), was written in uneven tetrameter, where the girls move into the battleground of the playground. Also from a parental point of view. The repetitive nature of the refrains (Lines 1 and 3), nail the scenario down, with their rhythm mimicing how a school bully would torment by using the same taunts again and again.

Finally, the innocence of the scenario is highlighted in the final piece from one of the girls, Fay.
This acrostic sestet is a more playful take on family views, using more simplified juvenile language. Obviously, you'll spot the first letters of each line spelling the 'family' theme (look vertically), the final line from Fay echoes this and if you look closely, the title is an anagram of the same word too.

Considering this is my first complex poetic effort and my marking tutor is a Cambridge don, I am very proud to say that I really kicked some butt here - her comments were both gracious, very encouraging and very specific in the technical amendments needed! The fact that she feels me able to work at this markedly higher level is flattering but you should all know me by now; as lovely as it was (she called the villanelle 'lovely' too), it is gone and my attentions now turn to TMA 04, as I have raised my creative bar quite significantly.

Most importantly, learnt lots and lots about my new love; poetry. And boy have I still got such an awful lot to learn.  Oh and this work got overall grade of: 78%, a mere 7 marks short of a distinction ... :)

Finally, may I also draw your attention to the delightful InkPantry Publishing's weekly blog: Words for Wednesday. This revamped feature relaunched last week and I am also extremely proud that my 'tea' poem was selected to be chosen to launch their new blog with. Check it out!  :)




And so you came, into our world, our home,


two tiny bundles, four hands just can’t cope;            


is ‘Down’s’ to be just that: dark stares, lost hope?


My fault, it has to be, this chromosome;


inside my head, just what would you become?


The words behind your back, unkind the joke;


they wash their hands of you with their soft soap.


Our hands will guide, conjoining through life’s foam.


Yet what we see, there is no need to fix;                              


so left alone, to live without such strife,


to cast into the breeze, restraint let go,


such stars will fly from Number Sixty-Six.


Victoria and Fay; pink queens of life;


your stage awaits, hold hands, enjoy the show.        



Snakes And Ladders

Ignore the stares, the head shakers;

pupils mock, you’ll learn to bear.

You are now, the future makers.


Embarrassed ‘friends,’ empty fakers

kerb kicked; for those who are aware

ignore the stares, the head shakers.


Candy floss curls, high you take us;

ups with Down’s, such delights we share.

You are now the future makers.


Laughing loud in orchard acres;

stereo sisters free from care.

Ignore the stares, the head shakers.


Short and sweet, future heartbreakers;

strike as irons smelt: go on, dare!

You are now, the future makers.


Hold their gaze, such troublemakers;

pupils warm with patience and care,

ignore the staring, the head shakers.

You are now the future makers.


I’m Fay.L

Fay is me; Vic’s my bigger sis,

Always fun, her eyes help me see.

Mummy’s cool! Perfect as she is

In her world, smiling at Daddy;

Long and strong; his arms hold us tight.

You notice? We are family.



39 lines

© Nigel Pamenter 2013
The right of Nigel Pamenter to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.